Hey babe, I'm an Expert.

I find this depressing:

A major condom brand said Friday it expected thousands of applicants for a new unpaid job on offer — condom tester.

Durex said 200 adult Australians — men and women — are wanted to test a range of its condoms.

While the successful applicants will not be paid, each will receive a pack of Durex sex products, a chance to win 1,000 Australian dollars ($857 U.S.), plus professional prestige, the company said in a statement.

"Who wouldn't want to have a chance with an actual authorized professional?" Durex marketing manager Sam White asked.

"Durex is expecting thousands of applicants," the statement said.

Hopefuls must explain in their applications why they would make "expert" condom testers.

But I'm not sure whether the idea that people might want to apply for "expert" status is the worst aspect, or whether it's the possibility that they might score as a consequence of being awarded it.

The only consolation is that someone at Durex will have to read those applications. If there is any justice, it will be whoever thought the idea up in the first place.