I like The Big Pharoah:
To: Grand Imam Sheikh Mohamed Tantawi, Grand Imam of Al-Azhar
Dear worshiper Mohamed Tantawi,
My angel Gabriel brought me the latest issue of Sout el Azhar. I held it up and my jaws literally dropped when my eyes fell on the main red headline (see below). My jaws dropped Tantawi. You managed to drop the jaws of Allah. Congratulations!
"The Grand Imam: the hijab of the Muslim woman is a divine obligation. She who fails in implementing it will be penalized by God," the paper's main headline read.
You know Tantawi, two things I really hate: sin and people putting words in my mouth. You just did the former. You didn't just put words in my mouth, but you've turned me into something which I'm not.
The lunatic orthodox Jewish settler who lives in the West Bank and used to live in Gaza turned me into a foolish god who keeps on making Palestinians yet denies them any piece of land to live on. The Coptic Christian turned me into someone who's in a blood feud with divorced people and this poor Christian lady who has to wait till her husband sleeps with another woman in order to get a divorce and escape his abuse. Osama Bin Laden turned me into a mass murderer. And you just turned me into a cruel nutbag. A cruel nutbag who punishes girls and women for not covering their hair.