Seasonal advice

If you're planning your own crucifixion this weekend, perhaps consider having a tetanus jab first. And it's a good idea to sterilise the nails.

In other news, Arthur C. Clarke will be buried this weekend. His final instructions:

"Sir Arthur has also left written instructions that his funeral be strictly secular.

"Absolutely no religious rites of any kind, relating to any religious faith, should be associated with my funeral."