This is a genuine news report. It's not meant to be funny or ironic:
The leader of the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales has declared that capitalism is dead because of the credit crunch.The assembled capitalists had just pledged hundreds of thousands of pounds to the Catholic Church.
Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor, 76, made the astonishing claim at a lavish fund-raising dinner at Claridges...
The four course dinner, with a champagne reception, had been provided free of charge by Derek Quinlan, the property developer, who owns Claridges who is worth an estimated £60 million.